The Social Impacts of Not Planning

Executive functioning differences are very common in neurodivergent people. These executive functioning differences often impact the way we socialise. Let's look deeper into this topic.

Our executive functioning controls things like our:

• Sensing the passing of time

• Organising and planning

• Regulating attention

• Remembering things

Our differences create many challenges for us.

So, when we have executive functioning differences it can be hard for us to:

• Make plans with other friends, or show up on time for those plans.

• Remember to reach out regularly to check on our friends.

• Not get distracted by other things while socialising with our friends.

But our differences also give us unique strengths as well

We may not be good at the day-today stuff, planning or staying in touch but:

• We can be great friends to have in a crisis, or as a supporter during a really difficult emotional time.

• It is easier for us to pick up right where we left off with a friend, after distance.

• We can be brilliant at spontaneous adventures.

So what can we do to help these differences?

When you have executive functioning differences, it’s a good idea to make use of tools that can help with the tasks that your brain has difficulty with.

• Setting timers or calendar reminders to check in on your friends.

• Use apps that allow you to schedule texts to send later

• Try to eliminate distractions when spending time with friends

My personal rule is that if it isn’t in my digital calendar, it’s not happening.

If I’m making plans with someone that I definitely want to happen, I get a tentative time and date right away and put it in my calendar.

Takeaways!

Executive functioning differences can present challenges to maintaining relationships, but we also have brilliant strengths as friends. Using external tools like timers and calendars can help us overcome some of those challenges.